Coming Out Together
The “How We Did It” Guide Book


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If ever a collection of data had a soul of its own, it’s this one. This is the story of the PFLAG Chapter in Red Wing, Minnesota. They are a band of regular folks who, with courage and grace, faced down fear, ignorance, prejudice and their own personal demons to advocate acceptance and equality for their lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) children.

“Coming Out Together is a heartwarming book with a double narrative. It details the history of a group of brave pioneers whose advocacy in the 1990s and early years of the 21st century helped a rural, mostly conservative community become more accepting and compassionate towards LGBTQ people. Imbedded in this history are moving personal stories of 15 families navigating their emotions after learning that a child belongs to the LGBTQ community. Their personal stories will help others who may find themselves on a similar path and are fortunate enough to read this book.”

Dr. Jane Lorentzen, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist

“Coming Out Together is an amazing book brimming over with hope and celebration. Written beautifully by Christina and Geni Cavitt, this is a story of courage and the power of the individual spirit. It is also a story of healing and reconciliation, a book that is so relevant and necessary in these troubled times of division and inequality in our country.”

Robert Hedin, poet, translator, and editor

“Coming Out Together,” by sisters Christina and Geni Cavitt, is a book full of inviting and engaging tales of acceptance.
It’s a book full of stories of diversity in every way – not just of gender and sexuality, but of experience. Every “coming out” is different for those opening up their lives, and just as different for those receiving their loved one’s openness.
To a relatively uninformed mind (like mine), it’s shocking to hear how much hatred and vitriol can come from ignorance about LGBTQ people. But at the same time, it’s delightful and refreshing to know how much love and acceptance can come from just a little knowledge and experience. In so many cases, people’s viewpoints can be turned around 180 degrees by just getting to know someone.
In “Coming Out Together” people mostly from Red Wing, MN, a Mississippi River town just southeast of the Twin Cities, tell the tragedies and successes of everyday people who happen to be lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender and more. Not every life story ends with sweetness and light, but many do. And all the stories tell of personal growth, and are worth telling and reading.”
Roger Grupp, musician and ally
“The main objectives of Red Wing PFLAG in producing “Coming Out Together” were sharing our family stories and documenting our 20 year journey for GLBTQ equality. With the dedication and extraordinary heartfelt writing of Tina and Geni Cavitt, those goals were met and even exceeded. We are sure this book will be helpful to families and communities struggling to become more compassionate and welcoming.”

Bruce and Kathy Ause
Red Wing PFLAG

“Tina and Geni Cavitt have assembled an outstanding team of talent in creating this very important and page turning biography! I thoroughly enjoyed this book and couldn’t stop reading it until I turned to the thoughtful quote on the back cover. Having sung with the Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus over the decades, it was fascinating to discover the history of this Red Wing chapter of PFLAG! And recalling the chorus’ involvement early on by singing out in Red Wing to help promote the fine work of the books subject, Red Wing PFLAG!
Thank you, Cavitt Sisters, for the gift that is this biography! It is a must read for anyone yearning to discover how every day folks are simply wanting to learn how to love their kids while processing the sometimes surprising fact that those very kids are LGBTQ! The complex feelings and emotions that are involved in the process are so clearly defined in this amazing read!”

Andrew Kuula, Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus Alumni

“It’s a beautifully put-together book…and it provides a lot of insight into what life is like for queer kids and their families, especially in more rural areas.”

Teresa Ryan ManzellaLGBTQ youth advocate/author

“If you are like me, you know someone who has faced the uncertainty of a loved one who has come out of the closet and into the sunshine. Coming Out Together touched my heart. It is definitely a book I will share with others. There’s not a person I can think of who can’t benefit from reading and studying this important book.”

Elaine Koyama, author LET ME IN award winning book about women and minorities in business 1976-1996